Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
