He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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