so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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