This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
