I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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