he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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