I wish I only lived at night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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