Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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