he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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