Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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