she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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