I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
