If i come over, it means nothing
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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