u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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