TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
