last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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