This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
