Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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