What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
