So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
