Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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