The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
