Whoa Z and x make the same sound
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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