I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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