What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
