Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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