if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
