my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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