Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
