On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
