I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
