Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
