The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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