he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
