Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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