he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Found the puke drawer
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
