is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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