Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
