all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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