Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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