He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
