I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
