Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Found your dick twin last night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
