So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
