I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
