now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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