Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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