I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
