They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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