Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
