Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
