Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
