note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
