i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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